Heartstrings
by FallenDarkness12
Summary: A Short AU Fic originally a oneshot but It ended up a too long... Set after Back in Black, Jay, Ellie and Emma arrive back in degrassi without Sean, What happens when Jay starts to feel something for Ellie? Will she accept him and his help?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I Don't own Degrassi. If I did I would be Writing Scripts for you to watch not Fan Fics for you ro read!

Summary:A Short AU Fic (It was originally going to be a one-shot but It ended up a little too long...) Set after Back in Black, Jay, Ellie and Emma arrive back in degrassi without Sean, What happens when Jay starts to feel something for Ellie? Will she accept him and his help or not? _For the purposes of this fic Jay and Alex Broke up before Back in Black _

Heartstrings 

Chapter 1 

For the first time ever my car was actually in silence. No loud heavy music or conversations, instead the air was filled with a silence that neither me nor the two girls with me wanted to break. It was like someone had died or something. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel as I waited for the traffic lights to change. Minutes later I pulled up outside the Nelson-Simpson residence and looked across at the blonde in the back seat.

"Your stop Green Peace" I said finally breaking the tense silence that had been building since we left Wasaga.

"How do you know where I live?" She asked suspiciously

"A Man never tells his secrets, are you getting out or what?" I replied rolling my eyes

Green peace gave me one of her trademark glares before leaving the car slamming the door behind her. I shook my head and started driving again.

The silence that now filled the car was, if possible, more awkward than earlier. I glanced over at the red head next to me as I drove, she was looking out the window, I could tell she was putting a brave face on, I could see her hand was shaking a little. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her, she looked completely exhausted and upset.

We arrived at the Apartment she had until today shared with her boyfriend, my best friend Sean. God he'd been gone all of two hours and I already wished he was still here, I was now facing a night in front of the television as he wouldn't be around to hang out with. I felt like I should make sure the petit red head in my car was ok, after all it was my best friend who had just managed to, by the looks of things, break her heart or whatever. I stepped out the car as Ellie did and she shot me a look half questioning, half annoyed look. Which I let go over my head, I felt like I should just check she would be okay in a flat all alone and perhaps offer to keep her company for a bit, and after all I had nothing better to do. I followed her up the steps to the apartment and stopped on the doorstep as Ellie fiddled with the keys unlocking the door.

"You going to be ok Red?" I asked hoping she'd let me hang round for awhile.

She nodded and pushed the door shut. Feeling a little rejected for some reason I sighed. I felt sorry for the girl, her and Sean seemed practically attached at the hip, sure he was my best friend but for some reason I think he meant a whole lot more to her. It seemed that way, even to the ignorant people of the world such as me. I wads a little annoyed she didn't invite me in, I could have used the company but whatever. I guess the television and a couple of beers awaited me. I was just about ready to practically want to beg my best friends now ex-girlfriend for company, something I'd never have thought I'd be ready to do, but for some reason I feel drawn to her.

I put my hands in my pockets and sighed as I began to walk away, suddenly I heard a crash from the apartment behind me, I looked over my shoulder and then decided to change direction and go back to check Ellie was ok. I opened the door startling Ellie who looked up from the kitchen table which she had obviously just tipped over, the plates and cups that had been laying on the table were now scattered across the floor most of which smashed into several pieces.

I looked into her white face which was streaked with tears. Our eyes met and I looked into her usually bright eyes and noticed how dull they were, I began to think perhaps Sean's departure was hitting her harder than I had ever thought.

"Why don't you go change or something, while I sort this out?" I suggested gesturing towards the mess.

Ellie shrugged half heartedly and headed towards the bathroom. I started cleaning up the mess, me cleaning, boy Sean would have had a field day. I laughed to myself as I binned the broken plates and cups. Once I had cleaned up the mess and she still hadn't returned from the bathroom. I wasn't sure what to do next so I helped myself to a Drink from the fridge as I've done many a time when hanging round with Sean at the apartment and took a seat on the sofa. Once my drink was finished I looked over at the bathroom door wondering what on earth the red head could be doing in there to take that long.

I put the empty can down on the coffee table and went over to the familiar bathroom and tapped on the door which Ellie mustn't have shut properly as it opened a little as I tapped.

"Ellie?" I asked as I pushed the door open, not sure what I would find behind it.

Of all the sights I could have possibly thought I might see, Ellie holding a Razor to her already bleeding arm was not one of them. She jumped as I came in and the shiny blade dropped to the floor clinking gently.

After I had shaken off the initial shock of the whole situation I grabbed the nearest towel and grabbed her arm, she resisted at first but eventually let me hold the towel on. I suddenly felt even more drawn to her seeing her in this completely vulnerable state. I had heard the rumours Ellie cut herself but to see it with my own eyes was frankly scary. Even for the oh so hard Jay Hogart.

"What on earth were you trying to do?" I said I couldn't help the accusing tone slipping into in my voice, I swear I didn't mean to sound like I was telling her off but I couldn't help it she could have killed herself, she tried to pull away but I held on tightly to her arm.

"Get off me" she muttered tugging at her arm she began to fight me again for a minute before giving up.

"No" I replied "Ellie these are deep you'll end up bleeding to death if you don't let me stop the bleeding"

"What if I want to bleed to death" she hissed slightly some of her usual fiery temperament shining through "anyway why do you even care?"

"I just do" I shrugged and we fell into a fairly awkward silence.

"Why would you do this anyway?" I asked breaking the silence a few minutes later

"I didn't know what else to do" she admitted not looking me in the eyes. "Old habits die hard"

I took in for the first time that night that her arm was actually covered in old scars as well as these fresh cuts. So the rumours last year must have been true. My Heart skipped a little for her as I tried to look her in the eye but she avoided my glance.

"I stopped, I hadn't even thought about doing this in ages and Sean…" she started but she choked up when she said his name, she started to sob.

I watched as she broke down in front of me. Not knowing what else to do I let her cry into my shoulder, I'm Jay bloody Hogart Girls do not usually come to me for comfort even as a last resort. I felt my shirt becoming wet from the tears coming from her eyes and I stroked her bright red hair comfortingly, at least I hoped it would be comforting… I've never been much good at this type of thing… I was always thankful Alex had been a tough girl, not the type to cry on my shoulder. This had to be one of the most awkward positions I had ever been in.

We must have sat there in the bathroom, her sobbing into my shoulder for an hour until she was all cried out. She sobbed silently once she had run out of tears and eventually she wiped her eyes and pulled away a little blushing.

"You ok?" I asked her

"I guess" she sighed

I placed a hand on her should and she looked up into my eyes suddenly she shook my hand off and stood up.

"Oh god sorry Jay, you should go…" She started

"No, I'll stay, keep you company." I protested "You go sit down and I'll make you a drink"

She opened her mouth to protest but I gave her one of my glares and she raising an eyebrow and nodded a little. She stood up and led the way to the living area where she took a seat on the sofa tucking her legs up. I proceeded to boil the kettle and make two cups of tea.

"Sugar?" I asked

"What?" she asked

"Do you take sugar?" I asked again

"Oh, yeah one" she replied.

I stirred in the sugar and took the two cups over to the sofa and handed her one. She gave me a small smile which I took as a thank you and sat down next to her. We sat in silence sipping at our drinks. I didn't really know what to say, we'd never been close the only thing we had in common was Sean, the awkward silence was made even more awkward after what I'd just seen in the bathroom, I really had no idea what to say.

"I'm going to go to bed" she announced standing up after awhile.

"Mind if I take the couch?" I asked

"You don't have to stay you know, I'll be fine on my own" Ellie responded putting her mug on the coffee table

"After that little scene in the bathroom? I think I should keep you company." I replied and she avoided my glance "Just for tonight anyway"

"I don't need baby sitting" she shook her head

"Well I don't want to leave and come back to school tomorrow to hear you bleed to death over night." I told her "Blankets still in the airing cupboard?"

"Yeah" she shrugged tiredly giving up "Night"

"Night" I replied.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I pulled the thick Blanket around myself snuggling down into the warmth a little more trying to get more comfortable and turned over a little. Big Mistake. I ended up rolling off the worn sofa I had been sleeping on.

"Ouch!" I yelled as my head collided with the coffee table. "Son of a…"

I heard someone laugh a little from behind the sofa. It took me a minute to realised the person laughing was Ellie and The floor I currently laying on was that of Sean and Ellie's apartment, well Ellie's apartment now, I reminded myself sitting up. It was good to see her smiling again even if it was at my own expense, I couldn't help but notice how pretty she was when she smiled, I shook my head trying to shake the thought out of my head, but it only caused her to give me a strange look.

"Want some breakfast?" Ellie offered as I held my head for where it had collided with the table and she began bustling round the kitchen.

"Nah I'd rather have a coffee" I replied standing up "I Don't do Breakfast"

"Milk and sugar?" she asked a small smile on her face.

"I'll make it" I replied getting up from the floor and heading over towards the kitchen

"I'm capable of making a cup of coffee Jay…" Ellie said rolling her eyes and flicking the switch on the kettle.

"Alright, Alright, Red…" I said starting to make my way over to my make shift bed. "Milk, two sugars" I told her over my shoulder.

I put my bedding back into the cupboard out the way and took a seat on the Sofa which I had been sleeping on minutes before. Ellie quickly made the coffee and her own breakfast. She brought me the cup over and handed it to me while took the armchair and tucked in to a piece of toast. We ate and drank in silence before I offered her a lift to school which she some what reluctantly accepted, probably because she knew she would be late otherwise.

The drive to school was also a quiet one, though I put on one of my CD's and tapped my fingers on the steering wheel along to the beat while Ellie just looked out of the window her red hair was quite scruffy and their were bags under her eyes. It was obvious she hadn't gotten much sleep the night before which didn't surprise me as when I got up to go to the loo I could here her sniffling into her pillows. We pulled up and I looked across at the tired looking red head next to me.

"You going to be ok Red?" I asked letting a worried look cross my face briefly before replacing it with a much more blank expression.

"Yep" she replied looking over her red hair swaying gently round her shoulders as she pulled her bag onto her shoulder "Thanks for the lift"

"No problem, Thanks for the couch…" I replied taking my hands off the steering wheel.

She looked worn out, tired and pale. I Pondered questioning her if she should be going to school or not but I guess she would just yell at me or something like usual, she knew what she wanted and Ellie Nash was one of those girl who always tended to stick to her guns. Maybe she wanted to be in school to keep her mind of Sean anyway.

I suddenly realised I was practically staring at her as I let my thoughts trail off. I couldn't help but admire her I was starting to see what Sean had seen in her the past year or so she had this air that surrounded her a sort of 'don't mess with me' yet still quite vulnerable air it was completely unique I had never met a girl like her before. Suddenly before I knew what was happening my lips were pressed up against hers she tensed up then softened a little, I tried to deepen the kiss on instinct before she pulled back seconds later, Realisation crossing her face. She turned if possible whiter and a tint of red almost matching the colour of her hair, crossed her cheeks.

"I… I should go… Home room… you… need to… Park…" she stuttered climbing out of the Car quickly nearly falling onto the sidewalk.

I nodded unable to process what had just happened between us and watched as she slammed the door of the car behind her and walked quickly away into school.

Its amazing how one kiss can affect practically everything. Especially in my rather bizarre mind. I tried to shrug it off but it just stayed in my mind. For some reason Ellie's face was everywhere I turned she was all I could think about and she was also the reason Kwan put me in detention, apparently daydreaming is not part of her lesson plan, never mind what's another detention when I already have two this week.

A week passed and I hadn't seen Ellie except for in classes. Every time I spotted her in a corridor she would miraculously vanish before I could even say as much as 'hi' leaving me staring at the spot I knew she had just been stood at. For some reason still kept picturing her face at the most randomest of times it was fast becoming the reason at the top of my 'why did I get detention' list. I Shook off Alex's evening glare, something I had become used to by now, and slid into the front seat of my car. I decided to go get some food at the Dot for tea so I pulled up at the side of the road and stepped out.

I took a seat at my usual table in the dot on called an irritated spinner over to take my order. He took his time bringing it and I made sarcastic small talk with him before he basically told me where to go and headed back off to go work. I shook my head with a small smile, he was one of those guys who I've always found to be rather funny to irritate, and ok sure I enjoy irritating certain people sometimes, big deal.

I took a sip of my coffee and spotted the door opening and a certain red head and he Dark haired and quite obviously gay best friend entered. I watched curiously as they ordered drinks and sat down at a table. Why she hung around with homochucks boyfriend all the time always made me wonder a little about her sanity but I shrugged it off she'd always seemed pretty cool when she was out with Sean.

I admired her fiery red locks and her punk rocker outfit as she drank her milkshake, I had to admit Ellie was pretty and unique but in the good way, God I was day dreaming about her, again. I needed to talk to her about what happened the other day, then maybe I'd be able to concentrate a little better, though for some reason it felt like there was something drawing me towards the girl.

Suddenly our eyes connected and she realised I was there. Her eyes opened wide and she suddenly began drinking her milkshake twice as fast. I watched her say something to Marco, obviously fashioning an excuse to go before quickly exiting the Dot. It was pretty obvious she was avoiding me.

I downed the rest of my coffee and waited a moment before following her. I eventually caught up with her in the park by the children's swings.

"Red?" I asked putting a hand on her shoulder but she just shrugged my hand off angrily.

"Leave me alone Jay" Ellie said angrily

"But Red…!" I called as she walked away

"I said leave me alone." She stormed off leaving me stood in the middle of the park looking like an idiot. Yay, I thought sarcastically. I put my hands back in my pocket and headed towards my apartment, I guess she'd never let me talk to her again my heart dropped, With nothing better to do I resigned myself to going down to the ravine, I Kind of hoped I could have hung out with her or at least spent longer than five minutes with her, I headed back over to my car and got into it with a sigh, it looked like another night with Towerz and those other morons. To make matters worse I think that I Jay Hogart appear to have a huge mega crush on Ellie Nash the Vampire. I admit it. I Like her, Fancy her and want to help her. I feel like I have to for some reason, I'm so drawn to her it's a little surreal.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

The bell rang to signal the end of lunch. I took my time taking my tray to the bins and getting rid of my rubbish under the glare of Sheila before exiting the cafeteria and deciding what I should do next. French or Nip into town for some proper lunch, I was still hungry after that disgusting cafeteria rubbish. I decided French wasn't as important as my stomach and headed slowly down the Halls of Degrassi towards the front doors. I wasn't exactly paying a huge amount of attention to where I was going so it was no surprise to me when I suddenly found that I had bumped into someone. I stood up tall and prepared to shoot down who ever it was with a glare.

"Watch where you're…" I started angrily but then my face softened a little as I realised who I had bumped into "Red, sorry…"

"Whatever Jay" she said pushing past me the light hit her face and it was obvious that she had been crying as it was streaked with tears. My Heart melted and I watched her over my shoulder for a minute before making a split decision to catch up with her, my five star lunch would have to wait I thought as I jogged up the corridor after her.

"Hey, Red." I said arriving at her side "what's the matter? Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"Aren't you?" she responded as she sped up her heavy boots clunking louder as she tried to shake me off, But I wasn't giving up, nope now I took my chance and reached out and took her arm to make her listen to me.

She spun round glaring at me with her hazel eyes and her tear stained face. I pulled my hand away form her harm as I realised there was something wet and sticky on my finger tips I looked down only to realise my hand was covered in her blood.

"Have you been cutting again?" I asked her looking into her eyes with concern crossing my face, She blushed a little the crimson of her cheeks blended perfectly with her hair. I Have never been so concerned about someone else before I felt my hands shake a little.

"That's none of your business" she said angrily shooting me a glare attempting to walk away from me but dodged round her I blocked her path. "Why don't you just leave me alone? You were Sean's friend Not mine."

Her words hurt me a little I never thought I'd be hurt by what I girl said to me even when Alex screamed at me before she dumped me the words she used just bounced off me but for some reason Ellie had some effect on me that let my barriers down so that every word was like a stab at my heart.

"I'm not going to leave you alone, we may never have been close but I don't care. You need help, so I'm making it my business. Cutting yourself is dangerous…" I Replied to the seriously "I won't let you keep doing this too yourself!"

"Wow is that Jay Hogart I see being serious and responsible" she said sarcastically tipping her head to one side giving me one of her looks, the looks that for some reason seemed to melt my heart, even though I knew it meant she was simply being sarcastic. She shook her head and raised her eye brows as I tried to catch her eye again.

"For once I'll admit it, Yes it is Jay Hogart being Serious and responsible, you could do some serious damage, you could even cut to deep and kill yourself its no joke Ellie." Placing my hands on her shoulders and staring deeply into her eyes hoping she would take me seriously and listen to my words.

"Who cares" she said spinning on her heels pulling away from my hands and starting to storm off down the corridor. I responded instantly dodging round her so I was blocking her path and looking her in her eyes.

"I do" I told her.

"No, you don't" she said looking away breaking our eye contact and trying to doge round me and continue down the corridor but I side stepped and blocked her path again.

"Seriously Ellie, I do, I Care. Ellie please, I want to help you" I said trying to take her hand I just wanted to show her how serious I was about this, ever since I saw her on the bathroom floor a Part of me had changed. A Part of me had realised that Life wasn't always joke life was cruel. I Just wanted to offer her a shoulder to cry on.

"No you don't, I Don't even know why you're trying to stop me from leaving, so How about you let me go and you go back to your little girlfriends down the ravine?" Ellie said angrily moving her hand away before I could reach it. Her words dug into my soul but I shook it off, I just wished she could realise I meant it.

"Please Ellie" I said softly "I like you, really like I need to do this, you've changed me some how without even realising it and I just want to help you, please will you give me a chance."

"I don't believe you" Ellie said raising an eyebrow at me tipping her head to the side her red hair tumbling around her shoulders making my heart leap, she was so beautiful and unique. "especially after all the lies I've heard flow out of your mouth Jay Hogart" she continued taking me in and challenging me with her eyes I could feel her trying to read me to see if I was serious.

"Believe this" I said instinctively pulling her into a deep kiss, deeper than the one we had shared in my car a few weeks ago this time she kissed me back before pulling away and I opened my eyes and looked into her Hazel ones and she looked at the floor.

"Please?" I pleaded "I Want to get to know you, I want to be there for you, I want to give you everything and I want to make you feel special."

"I don't know Jay…" Ellie sighed kicking at the corridor floor with the toe of her boot. It felt like she was kicking my heart as I was pleading with her.

"Please, come on you got me begging you for some reason you have this effect on my I just feel drawn to you" I said clinging onto the thread of hope that I had left praying that she would say yes. "I've never felt like this before I really like you." I Felt like I was spilling my heart to her all my feelings were out in the open ready for her to completely trample on before telling the whole school what a big soft idiot Jay Hogart really was.

"I…" she pondered before tipping her head to one side "I guess you're not too bad, I mean Sean got on with you… You've never done anything to make me not like you, not really…"

"Can we try?" I asked hopefully

"Well… I guess so" she nodded

"But" I added "you have to try not to cut… I'm serious Ellie its dangerous and your worth so much more."

"I'll try, for you" She agreed "Though I didn't get very far last time…" she sighed wistfully I knew she was thinking about Sean.

"Well I Promise I'm not going to leave you like Sean did, some people may say I'm a scumbag or whatever but I'm not going to ditch you to run home to my family or whatever. Not in a million years." I told her placing a hand on her shoulder and looking her in the eyes in an attempt to show her how serious I was being. This time she didn't shake of my hand instead she placed her on mine a gently touched my hand with her finger tips sending shivers though my body.

Ellie she looked up into my eyes and smiled. The first genuine smile I have seen cross her face since Sean left. The smile made her more beautiful in my eyes and I just wanted to pounce on her right now in the middle of the hall way but I restrained myself and smiled back removing my hand from her shoulder. Her hand came away too so I took it mine properly and squeezed it a little as the bell rung.

"Well I guess we missed Class." Ellie shrugged

"I guess we did" I agreed "Can I corrupt you into skipping French to come have some lunch?"

"I suppose, Just this once… I'm not going to become you newest recruit to you little group" she said semi-seriously, I could tell she was teasing me a little, her cheeky smile gave it away.

"Wouldn't dream of it" I winked she laughed a little as I began to lead her towards the doors her hand still in mine.

"Jay Hogart has a soft side who would have thought it" she teased as we left the building hand in hand.

"Hey, don't you go spreading that around the halls!" I replied shaking my head "You'll mess up my reputation…"

"And dating the schools Vampire won't?" Ellie asked me taking her hand back and folding her arms defiantly.

"Awe well, that's a risk I'll have to take. You're worth much more than my reputation Red, any day." I smiled putting my arm around the Small redhead who smiled back. My heart skipped a beat as I felt her small body next to mine, we were so different but we fit together so perfectly for some reason. Maybe this could work.


End file.
